Love Medicine
by shitjustgotreal
Summary: A bunch of one shots featuring my OC (Koko) and our resident captain. Chapters may or may not be linked to each other. Random drabbles.
1. Meeting

**Note**

: English is not my first language. I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors (I tried my best).

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin.

Kordellia Harriet was a simple girl; typical in all aspects, may it be in academics, social status, or looks. Although there were a few admirers that says otherwise, she was never convinced.

She wouldn't call it insecurities, just understanding and acceptance to the fact that she's never going to be as smart as Armin, nor as strong-willed as Eren and especially not as beautiful and skilled as Mikasa.

 _Koko_ , a nickname her friends (and everyone else) call her, wasn't the best at physical combat but she took pride in her medicinal knowledge. She was a damn good field-medic and everyone knows it.

That's why she vowed that when she finally joins the Survey Corps, she won't let her comrades die no matter what. _Not anymore_.

The cadets were just finished with the training regimen Keith Shadis instructed them to do when a certain girl's name was called by the said man.

"Harriet! Be at my office in 5 seconds or I'll make you run another 10 laps!"

The girl was off sprinting to the office before Shadis could even lift a finger making the entire 104th burst out in laughter.

The girl was still sweating from the exercise when she entered the office in a hurry. The least expected was to come face to face with someone _very_ familiar.

The man was as surprised by her sudden entrance but his expression quickly went sour at the sight of her: dirty and sweaty.

Koko's eyes widened as the man stood in front of her, the same man she had admired for so long ever since she was a kid, the very same man that Military Police tell their kids to avoid.

It was **_The_** Levi Ackerman, Humanity's Strongest and Koko's childhood crush.

"Oi filthy brat. Stop staring at me like a damn fish and close your mouth."

Koko immediately did what was told in an embarassing heap before saluting. It was also at the same moment the instructor arrived.

"Ah, I see you're already acquainted—" _Koko could almost feel the room get colder_ —"now, Levi, this is Kordellia Harriet."

The girl quickly nodded, refusing to look at the short man (though not as short as she expected to see in person) who was currently studying her openly.

"She's got the highest score in the last exam. I believe she also wanted to join the Survey Corps once she graduate."

Koko' confusion may have shown on her face as Levi was in front of her before she could even open her mouth,

"The Scouting Legion huh? Well aren't you a brat."

The girl gulped at the sudden close proximity but met his gaze head on. This seem to please Levi but he was already moving to the door before she could blink,

"I'll ask Erwin to make a recommendation after these brats' graduation then. That is, if you're still alive until then."

Koko gulped at the blank look humanity's strongest gave her.

"W-wait—!"

"I don't tolerate filthiness so clean yourself before I make you."

With that, Levi was gone and Koko could only look at Shadis in excitement. Everyone knows the kid's (unhealthy) crush on the short man and a long sigh was released from the instructor, almost tiredly,

"Get out of my office before I make you run for 3 hours straight— and stop grinning like a lunatic, you little shit."


	2. Joining the Squad

The graduation came soon and it was an absolute _chaos._ The Colossal and Armored titans suddenly appeared out of nowhere and wreak havoc to everything that stood their way, or more specifally, to the wall. **Again**.

It wasn't much different compared to the last time they destroyed the wall. Many people still lost their lives: soldiers and civillians alike.

The only difference was that she and the rest of her friends are now soldiers who had already finished training. They stood greater chance at winning this time around than the last.

... _or so she thought_.

 **It went horribly wrong**.

The friends she'd made, classmates from the 104th who had never seen titans before were forced to engage in battle, as a result, sacrificing their lives to give enough time for the civillians to evacuate.

It was all in vain still as titans keep coming like there was no tomorrow. It was simply the worst day anyone could possibly have.

Koko tried everything in her power to save as many people she could but her resources are limited and she can't possibly perform a damn surgery in the middle of a street swarmed with man-eating giants, so the most probably thing was to fight and fought she did.

Even after her gas tank was empty and her swords were all dull from killing titans after titans, they never seem to dwindle down. She was losing hope.

The news of Eren's death from Armin did not help at all. In the end, she found herself flying towards the giants as carelessly as Mikasa. She was simply unfeeling— until the most shocking thing happened,

A titan killed another titan.

Koko would have acknowledged the fact sooner but she was exhausted as hell. Fast forward and it turned out the titan was Eren himself.

After being subjected to guns and canons specifically aimed at her and her friends, she was surprised even now that she hadn't collapsed at that moment.

Still, they managed to get through at least Commander Pixis and the gang did their best to cover Eren as he plug the wall.

After all the chaos and a mission well-done, the loss from that day still lingered.

After the offical announcement about Eren's indefinite training with the special operation squad, Koko became an official member of Squad Levi.

Although a great privilege only few had gotten, she didn't deceive herself that it was because of her skills, because if anyone was to be a member of the infamous group, it should have been Mikasa or even Jean.

They simply needed someone from Eren's training squad to ease the boy into trusting the legion (they didn't have to, of course as Eren was so determined to kill titans that he probably doesn't even care who he works with as long as they would help him achieve his goals) and at the same time, someone who knew basic medical knowledge as Hange would be experimenting on him most of the time so a doctor would be appreciated.

Still, she liked hanging around with the rest of her new squad: Eld, Petra, Gunther (and not particularly Oluo). It makes her feel powerful too, even if her role in the squad was mainly being medic and back-up in times of need.

Right now, the squad's captain was busy—well—beating up Eren.

It became a normal occurence in the castle in the weeks that followed after they joined the squad. Too normal that even she stopped cringing and feeling sorry for her long-time friend everytime he gets a kick or two.

But her heart still aches for the brunette everytime she had to patch him up. Sometimes, their captain could be an ass when it comes to training their resident shifter.

"Dirty brat, clean him up before he gets infected or something."

Ah, there it was again, the _damn_ nickname. Koko doesn't know when it started, but it was probably sometime after that incident at the instructor's office.

The nickname had stuck. Now, her ever-cheerful captain calls her that whenever and wherever, which often leaves her embarrassed and a bit humiliated especially when around the squad.

"He wouldn't be infected if you hadn't beaten him up so much." she muttered under her breath but before she knows it, Levi already had her pinned to the ground.

Koko lets out a gasp. Luckily ( _or the other way around_ ) Eren was still unconcsious and there was no one around to see her get beat up by their captain.

' _At least I'll still have my dignity_ '

"You dirty brat, do you think we're playing around here?"

Levi had her cornered; holding both her hands up beside her head as he glared at her with cold bluish grey eyes.

The girl gulped as she met his hard gaze, but a moment had passed and the air shifted.

There she saw how beautiful those eyes really are. Hard yet endearing, cold yet still full of hope, seemingly empty but deep within, it had seen more than a dozen deaths worth.

... _just how much destruction had those eyes seen in life for it to be like that?_

For a moment the man on top of her stared at her with widened eyes and it was then she realized she had said her thoughts out loud.

Koko's face heated up immensely, and her defense mechanism made her squirm against his grasp, wanting nothing but to cover her face with her hands.

The girl was about to apologize in a blubbering mess when her squad captain got up abruptly and started walking away.

"S-sir—" she calls out but the hardness that used to radiate from the back of the indestructible soldier infront of her briskly lessened. Koko was lost for words.

Levi didn't look back nor did his steps faltered but his reply echoed in her ears like it was shouted with ferocity.

" _More than a lifetime's worth, brat."_

His form disappeared through the trees and she was left alone with an unconscious Eren, but his words kept replaying in her mind along with those icy blue eyes.

She didn't know how long she sat there but only one thing kept echoing in her brain: a _vow_ — that whatever it takes, she will put the life back in those eyes.

After all, she was one of the very few that was given the opportunity to see that side of his and she would be damned first before she would break that small trust.

In the mean time, she'll have to patch up her titan-shifter of a friend first or risk getting beaten up next.


	3. Expedition

When the person clad in the familiar survey corps uniform appeared out of nowhere and killed Gunther, Koko knew she was done for.

Captain Levi was not in the nearby viscinity and if her theories were correct, then this person currently following them with an intent to kill was none other than the female titan itself.

How this beast got away from the Commander AND the squad captains were beyond her, but she found herself in no position to think.

A lone order that keeps replaying in her mind told by her captain and senior squad mates was the only thing she could focus on: _**Protect** **Eren at all cost**._

Koko was not a seasoned soldier nor a skilled titan-killer like the rest of her squad, but as she stared at Gunther's lifeless, her body shook with the intent to kill, to take revenge.

"Koko! Eren! Head straight to the head-quarters as fast as you can, we'll take down the female titan here! Go!"

She and Eren shared a brief look before looking back at the squad. They're strong, no dount about that, but she knew one wrong move and they were all done for.

"I believe my squad will be victorious!" Eren declared as he made his way towards the front. She saw at the corner of her eyes how her squad smiled before taking their formation before the female titan.

There was a nagging feeling in her stomach that she could not fathom, like something wasn't right.

"Eren, I think we should—" but before she could even finish her sentence, the sound of the female titan's footsteps were heard all over the forest and a horrified look came into Eren's face.

The girl didn't realize she was screaming as she saw her squad gets killed one by one.

 _No, no, no, not again! Never again!_

Gritting her teeth, Koko pulls her sword out swiftly as she sped up towards the female titan. She felt a mixture of hatred, sadness, guilt and hopelessness all coming together.

Those soldiers, her squad... they were people who welcomed her warmly despite her rookie status... now they were all _dead_.

A choice was made and there was no time to think. Eren was racing behind her but she was too fast, flying from branch to branch maneuvering with her gear straight towards the titan.

"...I'm going to kill you, kyojin!" Koko hissed as she went closer to the titan, intending to slash its eyes. She wasn't expecting anything to be completely honest.

Kordellia knew being a soldier means being killed on an expedition one way or another. Right now, it would either be her or the female titan, but what she was not expecting was the familiarity that washed over her as she locked gazes with those light blue eyes—

And dread completely took over her body.

The female titan... _she's_ —

Her train of thought was forcedly broken as her 3DMG wire got violently pulled, throwing her to a tree branch.

In the last moment of desperation, she used up all the remaining gas in her tank to gather control of what's left of the wires and balance herself but the force was too strong and she was thrown in a bloody heap.

The girl could feel her bones break. The familiar copper taste was almost overwhelming as she spat out blood.

The last thing Kordellia saw before losing consciousness was the hooded eyes of the female titan and Eren screaming bloody murder before transforming into a titan himself.

 _o-o-o_

Koko woke up two days after the expedition and she found herself in her old room in the castle. It was already night time and her room was filled with darkness, still, she could see the bandages covering her entire body; from her head to her arms down to her feet, she was completely numb.

Until the memories flashed through her eyes and tears ran down her face uncontrollably.

She clutched a fistful of her shirt with her bandaged hand, trying to calm herself down but her heart ached. It genuinely did.

Koko knew she should already be dead. If Annie hadn't held back, she'd be one of those soldiers they're mourning for right now.

A hand came to place itself on top of her's and she almost jumped in surprise.

But as the girl turned to see the familiar outline of her squad captain, looking at her with an expression she never realized she'll ever witness, she felt her heart break even more; to thousands of pieces that would never be repaired.

Levi gazed down at her with an uncharacteristically pained look that makes her want to crawl inside a hole and die.

He must have been so disappointed in her. His whole squad died because she was incapable of doing her job. She was supposed to be a doctor and save lives damn it—

"I thought you were dead when I found you." Levi's voice resounded in the dark room.

Her eyes widened as his hoarse voice spoke quietly, closer to a whisper than his actual speaking voice, like he was unsure if she was _here_ , if she was even **alive**.

"Don't try to be so reckless again. You're a medic, not a fucking titan-shifter like the other brat."

 _There it is. The usual command. She would surely get it now_.

Koko closed her eyes trying to block everything out. She waited. He would reprimand her any second now, blame her for the lost of his squad... but nothing came.

Instead, she felt his hand gently squeezed her's and spoke words only she was allowed to hear,

" _More importantly, you're **my** medic so don't die on me, Kordellia_."

Levi had said it so quietly that the girl almost didn't catch it but the hardness in his tone leaves no space for questions.

A second later, his calloused hand pulled away from her's as he walked himself out of her room, telling her to sleep well and heal quickly.

That night, she dreamt of a world where everyone was alive and they were laughing without care in the world.

Petra was beating Oluo in the corner while the latter was trying to show off to Eren. Gunther and Eld are drinking beers, talking about Eld's upcoming wedding with excitement.

She was sitting in front of them and beside her, a man wearing the same stern expression sips his tea. His eyes held none of the same weariness it always wore though, instead, it was filled with silent content.

A tear ran down her face as the man in that dream held her hand tightly under the table.

 _Ah, what a wonderful dream..._


	4. Tea

It was an unusually cold night at the base. Too cold that Jean and Eren didn't even bother fighting over who gets to eat the last piece of bread.

The soldiers had all departed to their rooms to enjoy what's left of their stress-free nights and sleep. They'd be going on another expedition in a week's time after all.

Koko remained though, carefully mixing some sugar with the black tea she prepared. It was hard to obtain it but she'd managed to sweet-talk some of the more affluent men she met in the innermost wall to give her some.

And the trouble of it all was worth it if only to see the scowl on heichou's face disappear even for the slightest of seconds.

She knew of her captain's preference in bitter tea's though, but it didn't mean he hates sweet things once in a while.

The girl silently treaded towards captain's office before knocking three times.

" _Enter_."

The girl took a deep breath before opening the door, carefully balancing the cup of tea on her hand,

"Captain."

"Dirty brat, what are you doing here?"

Levi was wearing his usual white long sleeved shirt and black pants as he sat in his (uncomfortable-looking) chair, reading some article.

Moments like this when the captain wasn't wearing his uniform and gears, when he was just... _Levi_ and not the soldier he was, are what Koko look after when tension was thick in the base. It was almost a comforting sight.

"Oi brat are you just gonna stand there or what?" Her train of thought was immediately broken as he suddenly spoke.

" _What_?" Koko accidentally replied in surprise, making Levi raise an eyebrow,

"Ho you got guts brat. Are you mocking me?"

"No sir of course not! I just—" her face lit up as she remembered the reason she was here in the first place, the girl quickly put the cup on the table in front Levi.

"I made you tea, uhh, it's pretty cold tonight so I... I thought you'd want to drink something hot, heichou."

Koko didn't dare look at the man's eyes, suddenly finding her shoes interesting.

She was about to take her leave when he spoke once again, this time much softer than the last,

"Thank you."

Koko looks up in surprise at the sudden change in Levi's voice, but his face didn't betray anything but the fact he didn't call her by that annoying yet endearing nickname was more than enough to please her though.

She didn't even bother hiding her grin as she saluted, "I'll see you tomorrow then, captain! Good night."

The moment the girl left, Levi took a small sip of his tea and a small smile crept on his face.

" _Sweet_."


	5. Confession

Levi Ackerman is known for many things. For many, he is _humanity's strongest soldier_ , for some he is a comrade, a leader, a fellow captain, a veteran. In the past he is known as a criminal, a thug, a friend and a son to a mother who perished too soon.

Levi Ackerman is known for many things, but with the exception of a _lover_.

Not once had he been in love, heck the thought of love alone could make his skin crawl.

It is not love that makes him want to puke just by thinking about it though, it was his experiences in that field that make him want to _forget_ how to love.

Contrary to everyone's belief, he did love, _does_.

Levi loved so much that the tears stopped coming everytime he loses a comrade. He loved so much that the pain in his heart stopped constricting anymore, rather, it give him power to kill an army of titans single-handedly. He loved so much that even sleep couldn't take the nightmares away.

 _Levi loved so much that now he doesn't want to love anymore._

Love comes with trust; opening up, caring for each other and then re-living the pain once they get taken away from him too soon.

He hated how he had to be strong, to _look_ strong, because he is a leader: someone who cannot risk showing emotions as it can— _will_ —lead to many deaths.

However, when the _dirty_ brat came to his office, her casual long skirt bouncing in every step, Levi realized that in his thirty years of living in this horrible world, he had never seen anyone as beautiful as her. The vast skies cannot even compare.

Levi feels drunk on her smile, on her voice, on her touch and he knew he should get away as soon as possible but he found that whenever the girl was nearby, all the thought of pushing her away vanishes from his mind.

If Erwin could read his thoughts right now, he'd probably never let him live it down (and maybe his cocky commander already knows).

Speaking of which, there was another knock on his door.

He swore if it was Erwin with his shitty ass stories about his life agai—

"Captain?" soft familiar velvety voice echoed throughout his study making Levi curse under his breath.

 _Great, just when he was contemplating how to set aside his damn feelings._

"I have the report for the month's medical expenses."

There was a bit of reluctancy in her voice that made the man sigh. His feelings was his and it shouldn't come in-between his work.

"Come in."

The moment the girl entered his door, Levi shut his eyes tightly, pinching the bridge of his nose. She was wearing her casual clothes again and he cursed himself for reacting the way he did.

"Sir?" Kordellia's voice was filled with concern that it made Levi's heart skip a beat.

It only made his mood go south.

"Leave the reports on my table and get out."

"Y-Yes sir!"

The girl hurriedly placed the stack of papers on top of her captain's table before bowing and practically running away, as she was about to exit his office something seems to click in her mind and Koko span around, walking back towards Levi with a determined yet slightly unsure face.

The said man gave her a confused look. "What is it brat? I'm not in the mood fo—"

Before he could finish his sentence though, the girl took out a crumpled but otherwise well-written paper and slammed it down on Levi's table before bowing a perfect 90 degrees, almost banging her face on his table before running out of his office.

Levi quietly unfolded the piece of paper and his eyes were as wide as saucers as the words engraved inside practically screamed at his face.

 **'I love you, heichou. —KH.'**

Levi almost crushed the paper on his hand as he stomped outside his office towards the laboratory where his target likely ran off to.

Slamming the doors open, he noticed by the corner of his eyes how Moblit jumped in surprise but all his focus was on the lone figure by the end of the room or more specifically, the head sticking out from below the table.

"C-Captain... W-whatever happened, I'm sure it wasn't worth killing her for. Harriet is useful to scouts!" Moblit begged but the shorter man ignored him and went straight towards the girl.

Everything was silent for a while, only the silent whimpers of the girl that sounded cuter than intended in his ears.

Seriously, how messed up could he be?

Again, his mind went blank as he kneeled down infront of the brat who was curled up in a ball.

"Look at me, brat. That's an order."

It took another minute before the girl looked up. His throat suddenly felt dry as she looked at him with pure innocence. Levi's could feel his heart drop to his stomach.

"I don't appreciate it when someone gives me such letter and then run away especially if I feel the same way."

"H-heichou?" Kordellia didn't know if her face could heat up even more but it felt like her whole body was on fire.

"Shut up and report to my office later. I still have work to do." Levi replied, his expression as stoic as ever but Koko always had the knack for seeing what's underneath the box especially when it came to the man infront of her.

His eyes definitely showed her how sincere his words were despite his indifference.

"Y-yes sir!"

Levi saw it as a cue to go but before he stood up, he whispered for only her ears to hear, "Don't forget my tea, brat."

It was the last thing Kordellia heard before she fainted with a smile on her face and Moblit's frantic voice echoed throughout the room.


End file.
